“Do I see lots of Raging Bulls or it’s just me?,” in 2015

  • Opinion

I would like to bring back the best write-ups that I did, so here’s one from my days as a writer for the ICCT Colleges Newsbytes, circa 2012. I’ll try to sneak in some post-publishing remarks as well.

Rage — A word that translates to fury, anger, wrath and temper; a signal that means war. In the midst of the hot summer sun, I see hundreds or even thousands of raging bulls all over the place. Even if it’s just because of simple misunderstandings or deadlines that should be accomplished, either way, it creates rage among us. I also surrender to this kind of dilemma.

When I wrote this, I remember I’m in some sort of pressure to finish this. I’m not the kind of person who takes pressure easily — when things don’t go my way, I cringe, I get pissed off, or both.

We, the raging bulls, are jarheads and what we do is somewhat contrary to the common norms, placing people at physical and emotional harm. We are the ones who are stressed first than everybody else. We are uncontrollable oftentimes, and with this we are capable of affecting others… in a “not-so-good-way”.

I come to realize that I should question myself why I wrote this paragraph. It was simply meant “We come to hurt people while being enraged.” We come to a point where we curse people or things or even circumstances that were off from what we think. When we were young, we cry when we get hurt; when we get hurt too much, it sows anger within ourselves.

When we group up, we realize that too much anger leads to disconnection (and heart attacks) and we try to manage our rage while thinking of a solution.

We do these cursing, blaming another, offending someone with intentions among others so if you’re not immune to these, you’ll lose your way quickly in this game on the “other side” of life. Ask a stupid question and someone will hit you in the gut. That’s how we, the raging bulls, do it.

“Ask a stupid question and someone will hit you in the gut.” This comes back to me as I remember 2015. I regret asking a stupid question which costed me my confidence, just because I am bugged to ask to.

I’ve had a phone call with Fred before. He’s Deremoe’s “proofreader” because the technical head Al gives me a hard time when it comes to grammar and all that stuff — so much that all those mistakes rubbed off on me. I had to get him, but what seemed to be a solution ended up to be another problem as the guy is disconnected with some of our peers inside the dead blog.

In this generation where the internet connection is widely used, the raging bulls are increasing, more popular, and more intense than ever. You can even watch them raging online uncensored and unrest. Imagine a useless twitter war between two people (or even their supporters) because of third-party issues, insults, etc. Also, please don’t forget the trolls and haters.

Remember Nadine Lustre’s “Cosplay Days?” Look, this issue went from just yet another issue in the cosplay community of my beloved country to something that triggers off some of Lustre’s fans.

The question; Are we done releasing our rage? Was it enough for us to be silent? What are we actually doing in the first place? Have we exhaled all of our brain tissues for these worthless things? If you’ll ask me, I will modestly answer you NO.

Man has definitely no satisfaction.

Is there a way to get rid of this? No, because you live in a world where you are prone to intervention. The only thing most of us do is to breathe in and breathe out; inhale, exhale. Inhale, and then exhale, hopelessly.

Recently, Rappler (in which I served a part of my internship time) just released an erratum with regards to a video they posted featuring a student from UP Los Baños in a bad light. Rappler admitted their mistake, but then again I looked at the comments and there’s no mercy.

Even if I still grieve for the death of Deremoe — something that I DID — there’s something in my heart that tells me “I’m glad you did it. Less stress for you. You can now focus in other things.” I have a choice regardless.

To be honest, aside from being a writer for another blog, I’m also mentoring a new generation of individuals that hopefully will be as stable as me way back when Deremoe was a go-to site for discussion in the community. One more thing: When I shut down Deremoe, I felt a void in today’s community news landscape, but I am slowly realizing that it’s just me and a few friends who thought that the void is real.

Nothing has changed. There’s still issues, bashing, all that negative matter that makes me more pessimistic than ever. Nothing has changed.

Since we live in this world where rage is prevalent, I would like to remind you that you need to be more mature than your old self… I survive doing this. In the end, is this real or it’s just me looking at the wrong perspective? What I am looking at is real, and it’s too much. Oh wait, the sun is still hot. I want to be badly drenched in water.

…and now I ask, “Did I really survive?” Since when I stopped being mature enough to be accepted by society? After all the things that have happened to me, would I still think of myself as a sane person? I am rejecting who I was — I’ve withdrawn most (if not all) of my skills — so I treat my disconnection with society as normal.

If there’s one thing that I’m thankful, that would be the mindset of un-learning and re-learning, something I planted deep in my mind during my first job interview in three years or less.

Un-learn the things that you know, and then re-learn it with renewed vigor and optimism. I’m really challenged by how this works, but I’m confident that everything will work fine.

I remember writing this in the summer season, so it’s just high time to show this again — after all, it’s so hot that we could have a heat wave sooner or later.